Talking to someone outside of your situation about how you feel can make you feel less isolated and more understood, but remember every couple's circumstances will be different. You may ask yourself ‘is how I'm feeling normal?' Many parents going through separation may experience feelings of anxiety, hurt, anger and even disappointment, but whilst going through this parents should try to focus on how their children will be feeling, and try to minimise the impacts of the separation on their children by seeking good separation advice. Although children will often experience some of the same feelings as their parents, and may even go through a period of grieving for the parent who has left the family home. There is evidence to suggest that children who adjust best to life after separation are those who are able to maintain strong, positive relationships with both of their parents.
This means that as a separated parent you have to be able to put your child first regardless of how you feel towards your partner and seeking separation advice can help you in dealing with your emotions. You and your partner have to agree to work together to keep your children out of disputes, and also ensure that your children feel supported – and that they have two parents who love them. Equally you child or children need to know what is going on, so do sit them down and talk to them. In the aftermath of separation, various areas of your lives will need to be reassessed. This could range from legal advice to dealing with the emotional fallout of the separation. Anger and disappointment may be the biggest and hardest emotions for you to overcome, but seeking separation advice can help.
Having a space where you can talk about your anger and how to deal with it will give you a measure of control over the other areas of your life. In the midst of dealing with your anger and disappointment there may be the question of legal arrangements that need to be made. Separation advice sites can offer you information and support that may not be otherwise easily accessible. For example information about how to access family mediation, which can help with discussions about money, property or possessions and your children. Many separating couples find mediation is a useful tool to help settle these disputes.